Friday, April 28, 2006

Say no to Midi (At least on your Homepage)

What is your problem, sir? I ask you, as you seem to have an inordinately large one. I have arrived at your webpage, seeking only information, to find... Midi. What stain on your soul is so great that you feel the need to defile the already-polluted internet with 8-bit, terminally annoying music? Sir, I ask only out of compassion. I cannot imagine the horror of what has been done to you. The way you send faux-piano Midi music winging through my speakers, is, I believe, a cry for help. May I assist you in overcoming this illness? Perhaps by beating you repeatedly over your head with this keyboard. Why, I'd do that until my arms are sore, just for you. That's how much pity I have for you. I would find out where you live, drive there, beat the stuffing out of you with a shovel, and then hide your body in the sewer, all on my own time, all for you. So now I ask this: How may I help you?


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